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Stories That Only A Fool Would Believe, Right?

Unless I'm fooling, the issue date on this issue of Credit Union Journal is April 1. So in keeping with the a tradition that goes back to at least the 14th century, we bring you these headlines and stories on just this one day per year.

 

Small Credit Unions Announce New Healthcare Policy: No More Sickness

CINCINNATI-Several small credit unions here have banded together to institute a policy they say will contain healthcare costs: no employees can get sick.

The new policy, which goes in effect June 1, prohibits illness of any kind by all employees, with the exception of part-timers, who will be permitted to be ill on a part-time basis only.

Healthcare Exchanges have begun to gain traction among credit unions, and the group of Cincinnati credit unions say they are taking a related approach. They, too, have formed a Healthcare Exchange, but in this case should a full-time employee become ill, he or she will be exchanged for someone who is not.

 

CU Journal's Grow Show Is Now Starting To Get Personal, Too

ORLANDO-Credit Union Journal's popular Grow Show has added a benefit for interested attendees: it will make them taller.

The feature, which is included in the registration fee, is part of a package of bonus benefits that also include making attendees grow smarter and more attractive, too.

The meeting, scheduled for May 29-31 at the Ritz Carlton, aims to literally give attendees takeaways that they can use at their own credit unions, but more importantly, to brag about on Facebook, which is why that social media site exists.

 

Washington Credit Union Offers Unique Sequestration Program

WASHINGTON-Big Government CU here has introduced a "Sequestration Assistance" program that differs from others around the country: instead of providing financial relief, it is comprised completely of a team of specially trained employees who explain what exactly "sequestration" means.

"It's hard for members to really feel impacted when the first definition of the word is 'removal or separation, banishment or exile," said BGCU's CEO, "What's ironic is that this term comes from Congress and actually sums up what most people wish would happen to Congress itself."

 

State Leagues Begin Proposing All Kinds of New Combinations

FARMERS BRANCH, Texas-Inspired by a plan by the Texas, Arkansas and Oklahoma leagues to form a new association called "Cornerstone," state leagues across the country are considering all kinds of new combinations, all with one goal: scoring a cool name.

The proposed Cornerstone name just barely beat out a plan to title the association after the respective states' names and call it "The League of Tao."

Opponents argued the focus should be on CU philosophy, not Eastern philosophy, while proponents of the name noted that the "workings of Tao are vast and often beyond human logic," which sums up many league decisions.

Among some of the league combinations that have been proposed in recent weeks include the merger of the Ohio and Georgia associations into the Mercer League, a merger between Alaska and Hawaii to be known as the "Board Travel Budget Buster League," and the Credit Union Association of the Dakotas with the Montana league to form the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Credit Unions (OPECU).

 

Agency Saddles Up And Admits To Error Contributing To WesCorp Failure

ALEXANDRIA, Va.-NCUA last week finally provided a long-awaited explanation of how examiners who were assigned to be on-site at WesCorp could have missed all the warning signs at the failed corporate.

In depositions related to lawsuits over failed CMOs, the agency has now acknowledged that for more than 10 years its examiners weren't inside Western Corporate FCU but were instead mistakenly in a backroom at a western wear store a half-mile away.

Said one agency source requesting anonymity, "This would explain why our examiners frequently cited concerns over concentration risk in denim and boots. Although, in retrospect, investments in both likely would have had a higher return."

 

#WorkToBeDone: Volunteers Get Lessons In Twitter, Social Media

NAPLES, Fla.-Credit union board members showed they are embracing social media during a two-hour training session at the Association of CU Board Members here.

ACUBM members were given smartphones and lessons in social media during the meeting, and were also asked to participate in a mock Twitter conversation at the hashtag #VibrantVolunteer, a portion of which is shared below.

@ChairmanChuck FDR's Ghost! I think I got this Tweetering thing

@ChairmanBill It's not Tweetering, it's twitting. And what's with this :) symbol?

@ChairmanBob :) means someone is cursing. I learned that in a Beetle Bailey cartoon. But what's with these # signs?

@ChairmanSteve. The #sign means to literally "pound" the screen hard.

The trainer leading the session later indicated there was additional work to be done.

Frank J. Diekmann can be reached at fdiekmann@cujournal.com.

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